A Portal to Another Time, Another Space, or Another You?
TMR Intern Vanessa Watkins Revisits "Portals: Cabinets of Curiosity, Reliquaries and Colonialism" by Genese Grill
Here at TMR internship, we do what we like best. We read and discuss our contributors' stunning work. On a regular meeting day in April, we indulged in Genese Grill’s “Portals: Cabinets of Curiosity, Reliquaries and Colonialism,” and it struck me that I have a strange relationship with objects. Grill takes us on a philosophical quest for the meaning behind object collection and ends her eloquent essay with a nod to the supernatural. But if we are indeed dealing with portals, do they matter because they are portals to another time and space, or another you?
Twenty-four years ago when I arrived in the U.S. with my old-timey luggage full of trinkets from the 90s, what exactly was I planning to do with them?
an empty pack of Brazilian cigarettes
two cassette tapes from the band I left behind for lack of inspiration to come here and have real experiences that did not feel forced
a couple of vinyls that magically survived my amateur packing
books that I just couldn’t be 7,000 miles away from but to this day I have not re-read
photos of good times among the friends I so willingly walked away from
drawings and paintings that were once meaningful
They are now a reminder of who I used to be as they transport me back to my younger years, but what purpose do they serve? Do they reassure me I haven’t changed in essence, or changed so much that now I can’t connect with them anymore? I tried to listen to the cassettes but I sound coy and insecure, so why keep them when I can’t even recognize my own voice? Are they proof that I evolved? Why am I so protective of them? But really I just want to know the answer to two crucial questions: how long must I keep reminding myself of who I am, and would these objects have a different meaning now had I stayed home? These are some of the questions that will linger in your mind after reading such a text as Grill’s.
Vanessa is a Brazilian returning student who has always loved the English language. She has worked as a translator and EFL educator for many years and found 2020 to be just the perfect time to pursue a bachelor of arts degree in English through the University of Missouri online program. She is currently a publishing intern with the Missouri Review and will be graduating in May of this year.
